Carry You Home
by ixaquasa
Summary: Set in the future after The Time Paradox, Holly struggles to come to terms with a friend's death. Based on the lyrics of James Blunt's 'Carry You Home.'


**All righty...this is my first time attempting a song fic. I have my misgivings about song fics too, as a fanfic reader - so, much criticism is appreciated here!**

**Many thanks to my Beta - for putting up with my manic fanfic-writing phase - and for encouraging me. :)**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing; Eoin Colfer does. The lyrics of 'Carry You Home' belong to James Blunt; I own nothing.**

Carry You Home

_Trouble is her only friend and he's back again. _

'Trouble?'

Commander Trouble Kelp looked up from his paperwork to see Holly Short standing in the doorway of his office.

'Yes, Holly?' he replied, his voice unusually gentle.

'I…can I meet you this Saturday?' Her voice seemed to break momentarily, but there was no change in her expression.

'Are you all right?' He was rising from his seat before she could stop him.

'I'm – I'm all right. It's just…I can't find anyone – I need to talk to you. There's something I need to…I need to talk to you about it.'

'I'll be there, Holly,' he said.

'Thank you.' She smiled briefly and left.

Trouble watched her go, her back hunched and tired.

_Makes her body older than it really is. _

She was only 150 years old – still young; still fresh; still full of potential – her career was just beginning to look so promising; there had been talk of her promotion to the position of commander.

But she felt old, much older than she had any right to be.

The face in the mirror had not changed since she was eighty, but appearances did not matter.

_She says it's high time she went away, _

'Holly.' Trouble sat back, stunned. 'Why?'

She pushed her Major's acorns across the table to him, her hand trembling slightly.

'I don't think I can anymore, Trouble. I'm sorry.'

_No one's got much to say in this town. _

She used to love walking about Haven on her off-days, despite the busy thoroughfares and the various annoyances of city life. She had loved the vibrancy and the hustle and bustle of the largest fairy city underground. This was the one place she could call home – she knew every corner, every street and every dialect that was spoken when she went out about Haven.

But now – now it felt as though she wasn't a part of Haven anymore. The fairies who passed her were speaking a different language that she was too tired to decipher.

_Trouble is the only way is down. _

_Down, down. _

'Holly, please.'

She held her breath, keeping her sobs down. Trouble was pleading with her to stay in Haven, but it was too late to change her mind now.

'The only way is down, Trouble,' she whispered. 'Is there any other way?'

She ended the call before he could speak.

_As strong as you were, tender you go._

He had known that she would leave soon, ever since he saw her asleep at her desk.

The bowed head with its unruly auburn hair tumbling about the slumped shoulders spoke of defeat, much more than she had ever told him.

He had seen her struggle over the months, but she had refused to confide him. For all her strength and resilience, he knew that she was slipping in her fight against herself. The only thing he could do, as a friend, was to stand back and wait for her to ask for him. And when she did, he would be ready to give her whatever she needed.

_I'm watching you breathing for the last time. _

He had told her not to see him again, years ago, and then one last time on that black day. But she had broken her promise so many times before and after that day, just to catch a glimpse of him.

She had to. She had to know how he would look as the years slipped by…and if he still remembered her.

_A song for your heart, but when it is quiet, _

She was glad she had come today, of all days.

The small child playing the piano faltered midway through her song. Holly watched as the girl ran out of the room calling for her mother.

_I know what it means and I'll carry you home. _

The man in the bed beside the window seemed to be asleep. Holly slipped through the gap between the curtains and approached the bed slowly.

She knew, before she touched the stray locks of white hair on his forehead, that he had breathed his last.

_I'll carry you home. _

A stray memory played itself before her unseeing eyes – it was the day he had badly injured himself to save her, the warlock demon N° 1, and his family. She had flown over to rescue him and carried him home.

She had not, however, told anyone about the ache she had felt when she saw him lying motionless and bloody after his struggle with Opal. She had thought, just for a moment, that he was gone.

And the memory of his weight in her arms – that had been another thing she had not told anyone.

_If she had wings she would fly away, _

'Holly.'

She didn't reply, but kept her eyes on the surf of the dark-blue sea instead. The breeze was cold on her face, but she wasn't going to stop flying until the ache eased, or her wings ran out of power.

'Holly,' Foaly sighed. 'We're all worried about you – me and Trouble and Vinyáya. Can you see us just once? Please?'

_And another day God will give her some._

'I don't know, Foaly,' she replied, her voice flat and lifeless. The sea flashed by below, the colour of his eye and hers. 'I don't know.'

'Well…we'll always be here, waiting for you. Come back when you're ready…_please_.'

'I will, Foaly.'

She terminated the communication line, crossed her arms over her chest and set her wings to climb higher towards the grey sky.

She didn't know if she would be ready to go back, if ever. Haven held too many memories of him these days. If she could, she would stay here till she could forget.

_Trouble is the only way is down. _

_Down, down. _

'Is there any other way I can help, Holly?' Trouble handed her a blanket, his expression uncertain.

She lay curled up on his sofa with her eyes closed. This was the first time she had seen him in months, but yet – so many questions, so many. Why won't the whole damn lot of them leave her alone?

'No,' she said.

_And they were all born in New York City tonight, _

She had been there after the birth, watching the family from outside the window of the ward in the wee hours of the morning.

He had fallen asleep beside his wife's bed, his hand in hers. The baby girl had dark hair, just like his, and hazel eyes, like one of his – and one of hers too.

_And someone's little girl was taken from the world tonight,_

She had gone to see him immediately when he called. He was waiting for her when she entered the room.

The little girl was lost beneath a bundle of blankets, her dark hair spilling over the pillow. Holly had seen his eyes and understood.

'Can I do anything for her, Artemis?'

He shook his head, not speaking. Holly watched as he smoothed the hair back from the girl's pale face. And then he looked up with tears in his mismatched eyes.

'Artemis…' She crossed the room to the bed, her magic tingling in her arms and hands. She was going to heal the girl – this was his first child, he didn't deserve this –

'No, Holly.' His hand caught hers and gently pulled her away from the bed. 'I've tried.'

She could feel the dry skin of his palm, the smallest trembles that he tried his best to hide.

'It's worth a try,' she mumbled.

'I've asked N° 1,' he said hoarsely. 'It didn't work.'

She swallowed her tears and took her hand away. 'Why didn't you call me?'

'I didn't think it would be good for us to meet again, after what I made you promise…'

'You could have asked me, Artemis.' She clenched the hand he had released moments ago. 'I would have come for your daughter, you know that. Why didn't N° 1 tell me then? Did you make him promise too?'

'I'm sorry,' he said. 'Holly…I'm sorry for calling you here today. I'm sorry for not telling you, but I did what I thought was best. Would you forgive me, if I said that we should not meet again?'

She did not answer him, but went to the girl instead. The kiss she left on the girl's cold forehead was laden with healing sparks, sparks that would ensure that the girl went peacefully in her sleep.

'She has your eyes,' she heard him say as she climbed onto the window ledge. She did not turn around, launching herself into the cold night air instead. 'She has your eyes, Holly.'

'Goodbye, Holly.'

_Under the Stars and Stripes. _

He had been forced to forget her after their adventure in Chicago due to the mind-wipe, all those years ago. She had been afraid that he would not remember, despite knowing that it would be better if he did not regain his memory.

Now it was her turn to forget him.

_As strong as you were, tender you go. _

_I'm watching you breathing for the last time. _

_A song for your heart, but when it is quiet, _

_I know what it means and I'll carry you home. _

_I'll carry you home._

She placed the holly wreath at the foot of the grey gravestone, her hands numb with the cold. A similar wreath had been laid on the top of the next gravestone, a smaller wreath tied with a pink ribbon.

'Goodbye, Artemis.'

* * *

**A/N: **Were Holly and Artemis out of character? Was there anything else that did not click right? This is my first time writing in the Angst genre, and I would really appreciate concrit with this fic. Thank you!


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